Giving him up.

She pretend to be sleeping when he came into the room. The squabble was childish and foolish but she was angry. He climbed into bed and wrapped his arms around her. The familiar pain shot through her. "I'm sorry," he whispered.

---

She heard voices outside. Soft mumbling. But they sound urgent and worried. "What time is it?" she wondered as she searched the bedside table for her watch.

3am in the morning. Who could be here? She climbed out of bed groggily, stumbling to the door, opening it a little and peeked out.

He was sitting in the sofa with his face buried in his hands, shoulders slacked. The visitor came over and pat him on the shoulders. As if comforting him.

"I'm just so tired. I don't know what to do anymore. She's tired too. Her temper is getting worse. It's just stupid. Every time I touch her, I know it hurts. I don't know what to do anymore," he told the visitor.

He looked up and she quickly closed the door. Afraid of being spotted. Was that tears in his eyes? At that moment, she made up her mind.

---

"Wake up, babe. We've got to go. They're here!" he shook her urgently.

Her eyes sprang open and she jumped out of bed. Worried.

"Don't worry, we'll be okay," he assured her, forcing a smile. She nodded without saying a word and held on tight to his hands as they started running. As fast as their legs could run. As far away from their hunters as possible.

---

"Stay here. I'll be back! There's just a few of them. I can handle it," he helped her hide behind several large boulders and ran away.

She didn't stay. She crept out and followed him to the forest clearing. Hiding in the shadows of the trees, watching him fight. Clearly outnumbered. He was determined but it was no use. She knew what she had to do.

"STOP IT! STOP! HEY!" she yelled as she ran out into the clearing. The fight stopped. Everyone was shocked. Not expecting this. He was looking at her, confused.

"Well, well. Who do we have here?"

She turned and there he was. His voice was smooth, his skin beautifully pale. Walking towards her.

"I'll go with you. Just leave him alone. Promise me!" she said, looking at the man. She ignored the protest coming from him. Ignoring his pleas.

The man came up next to her and wrapped his arms tightly around her waist.

"Really now, princess? You know what that means, don't you?" he hissed the last part next to her ears. His tongue flickering out like a serpent, licking her ear lobes.

She nodded.

He was running towards her now. He was yelling for her to run away. Not to give up. But she was determined. The man swept her hair aside and buried his head into her neck.

He ran as fast as his legs could carry him. Towards her and that man. No, please. She cannot give up now. He knew she was tired. That she was angry with him. That she was angry with herself. But no, this cannot be happening.

He was almost there when he saw her body sagged. She was draped over his arms like a rag doll, her hair falling behind her. Blood stained her shirt. Dead. She was dead. He stopped and stared as the man brought his wrist to her mouth and forced something into her.

Suddenly, her hair turned black. Back to her natural color. Gone were the highlights. Her hair grew longer. Halfway down her back. The length she always wanted but never had the patience to grow them. Her back straightened and she jerked awake. The man laughed and tightened his grip around her.

"Well, well. Aren't you a beauty?" the man sneered and forced a kiss. She pushed him away and glared at him. "You'll get used to me soon enough. Come now!"

The man grabbed her hands and she yelped in pain as his nails dug into her palms. Punishment for pushing him away.

Before they disappeared, she turned to him. He was still standing at the spot where he stopped. He looked defeated and depressed. But she knows that he will be okay. This is the best. He can stop feeling tired. Stop dealing with her bad temper. Get on with the life that he was supposed to have before he met her. Live.

She smiled at him sadly and waved. Blood tears falling onto her cheeks.

Pauses.

"Why would you marry her when you don't love her?" he yelled at his brother.

All the things she did for him. All the time she waited at home for him. Unappreciated. Unnoticed. All he ever does is to yell at her. Criticize her. Making her feel inadequate.

If she was his girl, he wouldn't be treating her like that. He'll make her feel like a princess. Protect her from his mother who had been placing tremendous amount of pressure on her. Take care of her. Not like what his brother is doing. No.

He hated his brother for the way he treated her. He didn't understand why she didn't just walk out of the marriage. Because his brother obviously did not love her! But she loved him. All the tears she cried. It just wasn't worth it.

His brother turned around and hissed, "Because she's the one thing that you cannot have. You had the looks, the smarts and our father's praises. I had nothing. She's the one thing that you cannot have."

"Jealousy? That's it?!" Anger took over him and he grabbed his brother by the collar. "You married her to spite me? Is that it?" He raised his arms, ready to punched his brother.

"Haa. YES! If you like her so much, then maybe you shouldn't have reject her in the first place. It made everything so much easier. It wasn't much of a challenge or...fun." snorted his brother.

"Rejected her? She..never..." he stuttered.

"Yes, brother. Don't make me sound like some asshole. You weren't much better. You toyed with her feelings and smashed it. She waited so long for you that night. But you never came. Don't blame me for swooping in and charming her away."

(okay, no more mood!)

Teen Fiction?

It started with me crying on the school steps during the summer holidays. No one was supposed to be there but he was. Him and his dark hair, blue eyes and athletic built came and sat next to me. Offered me a ride home and left me his e-mail address.

From there, a funny relationship started. We will walk past each other in the hallway without acknowledging each other. Him and his popular clique. Me and myself. In a group discussion, he will try to keep communication with me to a minimal. It's like talking to me will decrease his cool-ness.

But online, we will talk to each other once in a blue moon. We will flirt and tease. Saying things that we know that's never going to happen. He got me to do things I would never do. He even persuaded me to go to his house where I ended up parading in my undergarments and pretending I am one of Victoria's Secrets angels. Giving him his personal fashion show. Falling asleep, snuggled up tight and arms draped over each other. A brief peck on the forehead as a morning call.

I know it was nothing. I was not in love with him. He was so not the kind of guy I was looking for. But it was nice.

I started to notice a pattern. We will only talk when he is having a lull in his relationship/social calendar. After a bad break-up or when there's no other girls to go after and trick into bed. That was when he will come to me and start the whole endless game of teasing.

I've grown used to this funny thing we had. It was nice and it worked for me. Well, at least in the beginning. Gradually, I realized that whhen I needed him for physical comfort or just some teasing fun, he was never there. I don't like that. Because if it's a fling or whatever that we have, it's only one-way. No. That's why I called to ask him to meet me on the steps today.

"Hey," he said and settled next to me on the steps, wrapping me into his embrace. Just because no one was around, it was okay for him to do that.

"What's up?" he asked and tried to peck me on my lips.

I turned my face at the last minute and the peck went to my cheeks.

"This is not working. I...Just leave me alone okay? I like whatever that we had. But if you are just going to treat me like dirt and used me, then I'm not going to be sticking around," I said and stood up to leave.

"Keep those stuff I gave you. I don't want it back," I hissed before running away.

No, I am not going to cry. It was a summer thing that had dragged for too long. Just like a plaster that has stayed on for too long. You don't want to remove it because you are so used to seeing it there. Afraid what's underneath. But once you removed it, the sting. And the horror of what's underneath revealed.

I can see what's underneath now. I am still as messed up as I was when he found me on those steps.

From a dream.

We finally made it out of the horrible place. Lying under the bed, next to dead bodies. Watching those trolls devour human after human. It was just too horrible.

"Here. Grab my hand," I reached my hand over the edge and pulled her up. We stood there on top of the hill. Relieved.

We paused for a moment to catch our breath. "Come on!" I said excitedly and ran towards the forest, "I think they just won a battle!"

I can't wait to see him. I picked my pace as we reached the edge of the forest. The sound of horse hooves, the jubilant cheers and the shouts of victory!

I see him! There he is! Sitting on top of his horse, at the front of the pack. Next to his father and his brothers. Giving each other a pat on his back. A huge grin plastered on his face. His father, the king, looking at him proudly. A look of approval and love.

The same look that is probably on my face right now.

It's been ages since I've seen them getting along. A long time since he looked so relaxed. A long time since...Wait. I turned to my companion and told her, "You go ahead. I am heading back home," and walked away.

I don't want to be that person anymore. The one that drove them apart. That caused the rift between them. I turned and started running as tears poured down my face.

"Take care of yourself. I promised I'll come back when the war ends," he whispered into my ears as he wrapped his arms around my waist, kissed my shoulders and buried his face in my hair. I wrapped my arms around his and watched as the sun began to rise.

I won't be there. I can't.

Fight.

Broken shards of glasses on the floor. A piece of broken glass stained with blood lay across a picture of them.

"A week. That was how long it took me to get sick of you!" he yelled at her in anger, sweeping the contents of the table onto the floor. Books, magazines, laptops and their picture. Crash, crash, crash.

Too tired to fight any longer. Too hurt to yell. Too sick of crying. She stood there and stared at the items on the floor. A look of indifference on her face.

He came up to her and grabbed her wrist so tightly that it hurt, a look of maniac anger entered his eyes.

She continued to stared at the items and remained silent.

He shoved her onto the floor and stomped out of the house.

That was 8 hours ago. An hour after they had snuggled up to each other and fell asleep the whole day. An hour after they promised never to fight again. An hour after they took that silly picture and framed it up.

That very picture on the floor right now.

8 hours. She hasn't moved from where he left her. On the floor. Back against the wall. A throbbing wrist.

From a dream.

It was raining. Pouring. But I knew he will be pretty bummed about being sent home. So, here I am. Waiting for his flight to land. Clothes speckled with spots of rain and shivering from the cold air-conditioning.

This is such a stupid stupid idea. Why am I here? It's not like we are officially going out!

"Hey! What are you doing here?" I heard someone said and looked up. Oh crap. He is already back and someone is here to pick him up too. Should have known. URGH!

"I..I thought I'll come say hi," I mumbled, wrapping my hoodie tighter around me and making for the entrance, embarrassed and angry with myself.

Just as I was about to dash across the streets to the nearest cab-stand, he caught up with me and said, "Here. Take the umbrella. I'll run across and get us a cab. I'll sent you home!" With that, he pulled the hood of his jacket up and ran away.

-

The queue was pretty long and both of us stood there awkwardly in silence. Looking everywhere but at each other. It has always been a fling thing between between us. Now what? By doing sweet things is a huge "violation" of our rule. We agreed to keep things quiet. To pretend that we don't know each other in front of our common friends. Even online.

"So...you really came to fetch me?" he asked as we inched forward. I nodded and shrugged. Let's not make a big deal out this.

"That's so sweet! Smile!" he said and put his arms around my neck, wiping out his phone and taking a picture.

"Hoi! We look terrible! Delete delete!" I protested, trying to reach around him to get the phone. And that's when it happened.

He pecked me on the lips. A different peck from the thousands of peck that we had before. He pecked me on the lips, smiled at me and held my hands.

"That will be our first silly picture together," he whispered before I got off the cab.

Holding on tightly to his hands and watching the cars zoom by beneath us.

Everything is changing. So fast. So sudden. I could barely keep up.

It feels like strangers are surrounding me these days. Strangers who looked like my friends. Who sounded like my friends. But they are different. Unfamiliar. Distant. I'm scared. Everyone's changing.

I squeezed his hands and held on tightly. He turned and smiled at me, tapping the tip of my nose.

My constant. The only familiar thing in my life. I forced a smile and continued to look at the cars beneath us. Losing myself to those scary thoughts. Holding on to his hands. Afraid that if I ever let go, I'll be consumed by those thoughts. No, that cannot happen.

"Hey," he spoke softly as he turned to face me, "It's getting late. I'll send you home, okay?"

Disrupted from those thoughts, I looked at him and nodded. There's something in his face, his eyes and his smile. He looked uneasy. Something's not right. Please, don't let him change.

We walked in silence, holding hands. Enjoying the cool breeze and the starry sky. Then, he stopped abruptly and turned to look at me .

"I...I..This may not be a good time but..I really like you, D. I don't want to do...this anymore," he blurted out, looking confused, scared and frustrated.

I kept quiet. Refusing to look at him. Millions of thoughts flooding in. What, what is it that he wants? No, please.

"So what are you suggesting?" I whispered, tears welling up in my eyes as my fear wrapped it's ugly its ugly claws around me.

"I don't want to be just your friend anymore. Let's start dating because I think I, "he hesitated and held onto my hands tightly, "I..I love you."

I swing away his hands and started running. Tears spilling from my eyes.

No, even he has changed. Now, he's ruined it. I hate him. I hate my life. I hate it. Just let it end, please.

"Hey," he said softly, "Thought you might need this. It's kind of chilly out here."

She took the sweater from him and laid it over her legs. "Thanks," she said before slipping back into her own world again, staring at the night sky.

Both of them sat on the garden bench in the dark. Not exchanging a word. She was lost in thoughts while he sat there and looked at her. He was worried. She's been quiet for the whole day. Like something is bothering her.

It was the perfect kind of night. The sky was clear after the afternoon rain, the breeze was gentle but cooling and the stars are out.

"Hey, look! Fireworks!" she exclaimed as her face broke into a smile.

Random.

Leaving on a Jet Plane.

They swayed gently with the music, enjoying the moment. The third wedding they are attending this month. He was oblivious to what was going through her mind. And it made what she was going to do so much harder.

As the music stopped and everyone starts leaving the dance floor, she held on tight to him. She buried her head and took in his smell – a mix of aftershave and shampoo.

“Hey. Let’s go back to the table. Dessert is about to be served. You won’t want to miss it,” he whispered and gently let go of her.

She looked up into his eyes and forced herself to smile, still not letting go. She leaned in for a kiss and it was the sweetest one ever. “Come on,” he smiled and dragged her towards their table.

“Hang on. I need to go to the washroom,” she said and ran forward to hug him.

He knew her behavior was weird but he didn’t think much about it. Wedding has that effect on her. Always. She’s always cuddly and touchy after weddings. But that was okay with him. Because he knows that’s her way of hiding her fears.

He nodded and let go of her hands, “Shoo shoo.”

She smiled and watched as he walked towards their table, tears threatening to escape. It’s for the best. It has to end on her terms and not on his or anyone else’s. She strolled to the entrance, got onto the cab and headed to the airport.

-

The dessert he saved for her was melting and she was not back yet. It was her favorite – Strawberries Sundae. As he watched the strawberry sink into the melting ice-cream, he started to get worried. He hurried towards the washroom and waited outside the ladies.

Just when he was about to go in to make sure she was alright, his handphone rang.

“I love you(: And that’s not okay,” the text message read, “I’m sorry.”

Taking the leap.

As she rounded the corner and came into view, his heart started racing and he broke into a grin. She was talking animatedly to her friends and did not notice him. It felt so good and familiar to see her again. The way she gestures and the way her face comes alive when she talks.

She looked away from her friends and spotted him. Their eyes met and for a moment, they just stood there. She broke into a sprint and ran straight into his arms. He tightened his arms around her tiny waist and buried his face in her hair. So familiar, so comforting.

“I missed you,” he whispered as he pulls apart from her. She grinned and turned around to say goodbye to her friends before dragging him away.

Because even though she’s only been away for a week, it seems like so many things have changed and so much time has passed. They have so much to catch up on. And as he listened to her travel stories, he realized something. He never ever wants to lose her. He wants to protect her. He wants to make this thing between them official. He wants to make her his. An open relationship is not enough for him anymore.

-

“Hey, we’re home. Come on, I’ll piggy-back you home,” he said in his best soothing voice. Not daring to raise his voice or do anything loud. She looks so fragile, just like a beautiful glass angel. It feels almost as if by raising his voice, it will hurt her. That will be something he’ll never do.

As he tucked her into bed, she woke up with a sly smile on her face. She pushed him onto the bed and straddled him, kissing her way down and making him groan with anticipation.

-

As they lay in bed, snuggled up against each other, he decided to make his move. Because if he didn’t, he feels like he might explode.

“Babe,” he shifted so that he is facing her, “Let’s make this official. Exclusive. Proper. Shall we?”

The tiny smile on her face disappeared. Her gaze shifted away from him. Not saying a word.

She feels the same way about him. Initially, she thought that he was just like any other guy she had had flings with. But that week apart really brought everything together. She likes how he takes care of her and how he cares more about her than she did about him.

But is she willing to let go of her fear of being reliant? Is she ready?

“I…Okay. But once anyone breaks the rule, it’s over. Okay?” she replied in a hesitant voice, still not looking at him.

“Definitely. I love you,” he said as he started necking her. The very action he knows she love.

-