He watched as she slept. The scar on her arms slowly fading to nothing. He stroke her hair gently and eventually fell asleep. A frown on his face, guilt raging a war in him.
A few hours later, he felt her stir and jerked awake. She turned and snuggled into him. Something she hasn't been doing since she came here. Since he took her away from him. He was shocked but tightened his arms around her and smiled.
But as she gradually woke up, she pushed him aside. The snuggle was a habit. A reflex. She thought things were still chirpy. That they were back in the time before he went away, before everything happened. She still can't accept it. Still hated him for what he had turned into. What he had turned her into.
"Don't. Your arms..." he sighed and moved to touch her arms, rubbing the spot where the scar used to be. She didn't jerk away from his touch but glared at him.
"You...have a wife,"she said. Not a question but matter-of-factly.
"Yes, I do." he whispered and moved away from her. Avoiding eye-contact with her. He didn't tell her before. He was ashamed of everything he did to be who...what he is now. Ashamed of the way he treated her when she first came.
Just when he thought things were improving between them. She had to find this out.
"She's...not the only one?" she asked, trying to keep the emotions out of her voice. She didn't want to know but she had to know.
His silence confirmed her suspicion. She blinked the tears away. All this time, he made her feel guilty about falling in love with D when he was gone. All the pain he put her through. All the time.
"Get. Out." she whispered. No energy to yell or shout.
He looked at her and a sudden rage filled him. He didn't know why. But the rage made him grabbed her arm. The arm that just recovered and yelled, "I did what I had to did so I can be here. So we can be together. Don't put the blame on me. At least I didn't fall in love with your best friend like you did to mine. Slept with all those men. Fell in love with my best friend. Got pregnant. Ran away from me."
He shook her and it was not until he saw the blood on her arms and felt that familiar numbing feeling that he stopped. He stepped away from her, disgusted with himself. With what he just said, what he just used to excuse his behavior. And that numbing feeling. It can only mean that he had hurt her. That the pain was coming from her.
Her face was turned away from him. Not wanting to let him see her cry.
"You should have let me died. If you hate me that much, then why rescue me? Let me starve to death. Or remove those locks from the window! LET ME GO! I don't want to try and salvage what's left. Or try and get back to where we were before that car accident. I DON'T WANT TO ANYMORE!" she whispered, trying to keep her voice steady.
"I'm...." He didn't have the guts to apologise. He knew that nothing can undo what he had said. He stood up and walked out of her room. It seems like the love he felt for her was doing more harm than good. He thought that they can be happy together. He didn't expect the hatred he had of her initially. Or the hatred she had of him.
They didn't see each other for a long while after that.
