a blue beautiful day.

sometimes, the hustle and bustle of life gets too much. everyone seems to be going after something. but what? a job, a career, wealth? do they really know where they are heading? why they are doing it? i don't think so.

but crowd effect occurs. because everyone around me seems to chasing after something, i joined in the race. but self-deception doesn't work for me. i got tired.

"You okay?" he turned his head and asked. Stretching himself and sitting up.

I nodded and forced a little smile before turning my attention back to the clouds that are passing by. A rare sunny day. A rare day that I have with him. Running errands with him, just sitting around and not feeling the urge to speak.

I may appear noisy, chatty, outgoing and airhead-ish. But sometimes, I just feel the need to be quiet. Not alone though. I would like to have someone beside me while I go wandering with my thoughts. Occassionally throwing out random comments.

That's why I am glad that I found him. He is the stand-in while she's overseas. I miss her!

"Look! A running rabbit!" I exclaimed and pointed to a cloud. He turned and gave me a funny look. I stretched out my legs and kicked him.

I know he finds it totally pointless and a waste of time to just sit here and stone. Yet, he knows that it will help me get over my lousy mood, so yeah.

- random picture that popped into my head. even though the first 2 paragraphs reflect actual feelings -

been a while.

"Hey," she said as she climbed into the car. The awkwardness creeping in, surrounding them. The anticipation, the knowledge that something will happen later. It hanged in the air.

She started singing. It seemed to be the only common ground. She didn't know what to say. Scared of saying something stupid. And he started whistling. No conversation. But yet, the awkwardness is ebbing away. His hand slipped over and grabbed hers. She smiled.

And so the game begins. This awkwardness that will be missed. Because it reeks of excitement. Because it's forbidden. This anticipation that will be missed. Because once it's gone, it's just plain old routine.

caught up in the madness to grow up. everyone seems to moving at an amazing speed. getting jobs and moving on. i think i feel safe when i am with you. but thats not right either.

Giving him up.

She pretend to be sleeping when he came into the room. The squabble was childish and foolish but she was angry. He climbed into bed and wrapped his arms around her. The familiar pain shot through her. "I'm sorry," he whispered.

---

She heard voices outside. Soft mumbling. But they sound urgent and worried. "What time is it?" she wondered as she searched the bedside table for her watch.

3am in the morning. Who could be here? She climbed out of bed groggily, stumbling to the door, opening it a little and peeked out.

He was sitting in the sofa with his face buried in his hands, shoulders slacked. The visitor came over and pat him on the shoulders. As if comforting him.

"I'm just so tired. I don't know what to do anymore. She's tired too. Her temper is getting worse. It's just stupid. Every time I touch her, I know it hurts. I don't know what to do anymore," he told the visitor.

He looked up and she quickly closed the door. Afraid of being spotted. Was that tears in his eyes? At that moment, she made up her mind.

---

"Wake up, babe. We've got to go. They're here!" he shook her urgently.

Her eyes sprang open and she jumped out of bed. Worried.

"Don't worry, we'll be okay," he assured her, forcing a smile. She nodded without saying a word and held on tight to his hands as they started running. As fast as their legs could run. As far away from their hunters as possible.

---

"Stay here. I'll be back! There's just a few of them. I can handle it," he helped her hide behind several large boulders and ran away.

She didn't stay. She crept out and followed him to the forest clearing. Hiding in the shadows of the trees, watching him fight. Clearly outnumbered. He was determined but it was no use. She knew what she had to do.

"STOP IT! STOP! HEY!" she yelled as she ran out into the clearing. The fight stopped. Everyone was shocked. Not expecting this. He was looking at her, confused.

"Well, well. Who do we have here?"

She turned and there he was. His voice was smooth, his skin beautifully pale. Walking towards her.

"I'll go with you. Just leave him alone. Promise me!" she said, looking at the man. She ignored the protest coming from him. Ignoring his pleas.

The man came up next to her and wrapped his arms tightly around her waist.

"Really now, princess? You know what that means, don't you?" he hissed the last part next to her ears. His tongue flickering out like a serpent, licking her ear lobes.

She nodded.

He was running towards her now. He was yelling for her to run away. Not to give up. But she was determined. The man swept her hair aside and buried his head into her neck.

He ran as fast as his legs could carry him. Towards her and that man. No, please. She cannot give up now. He knew she was tired. That she was angry with him. That she was angry with herself. But no, this cannot be happening.

He was almost there when he saw her body sagged. She was draped over his arms like a rag doll, her hair falling behind her. Blood stained her shirt. Dead. She was dead. He stopped and stared as the man brought his wrist to her mouth and forced something into her.

Suddenly, her hair turned black. Back to her natural color. Gone were the highlights. Her hair grew longer. Halfway down her back. The length she always wanted but never had the patience to grow them. Her back straightened and she jerked awake. The man laughed and tightened his grip around her.

"Well, well. Aren't you a beauty?" the man sneered and forced a kiss. She pushed him away and glared at him. "You'll get used to me soon enough. Come now!"

The man grabbed her hands and she yelped in pain as his nails dug into her palms. Punishment for pushing him away.

Before they disappeared, she turned to him. He was still standing at the spot where he stopped. He looked defeated and depressed. But she knows that he will be okay. This is the best. He can stop feeling tired. Stop dealing with her bad temper. Get on with the life that he was supposed to have before he met her. Live.

She smiled at him sadly and waved. Blood tears falling onto her cheeks.

Pauses.

"Why would you marry her when you don't love her?" he yelled at his brother.

All the things she did for him. All the time she waited at home for him. Unappreciated. Unnoticed. All he ever does is to yell at her. Criticize her. Making her feel inadequate.

If she was his girl, he wouldn't be treating her like that. He'll make her feel like a princess. Protect her from his mother who had been placing tremendous amount of pressure on her. Take care of her. Not like what his brother is doing. No.

He hated his brother for the way he treated her. He didn't understand why she didn't just walk out of the marriage. Because his brother obviously did not love her! But she loved him. All the tears she cried. It just wasn't worth it.

His brother turned around and hissed, "Because she's the one thing that you cannot have. You had the looks, the smarts and our father's praises. I had nothing. She's the one thing that you cannot have."

"Jealousy? That's it?!" Anger took over him and he grabbed his brother by the collar. "You married her to spite me? Is that it?" He raised his arms, ready to punched his brother.

"Haa. YES! If you like her so much, then maybe you shouldn't have reject her in the first place. It made everything so much easier. It wasn't much of a challenge or...fun." snorted his brother.

"Rejected her? She..never..." he stuttered.

"Yes, brother. Don't make me sound like some asshole. You weren't much better. You toyed with her feelings and smashed it. She waited so long for you that night. But you never came. Don't blame me for swooping in and charming her away."

(okay, no more mood!)

Teen Fiction?

It started with me crying on the school steps during the summer holidays. No one was supposed to be there but he was. Him and his dark hair, blue eyes and athletic built came and sat next to me. Offered me a ride home and left me his e-mail address.

From there, a funny relationship started. We will walk past each other in the hallway without acknowledging each other. Him and his popular clique. Me and myself. In a group discussion, he will try to keep communication with me to a minimal. It's like talking to me will decrease his cool-ness.

But online, we will talk to each other once in a blue moon. We will flirt and tease. Saying things that we know that's never going to happen. He got me to do things I would never do. He even persuaded me to go to his house where I ended up parading in my undergarments and pretending I am one of Victoria's Secrets angels. Giving him his personal fashion show. Falling asleep, snuggled up tight and arms draped over each other. A brief peck on the forehead as a morning call.

I know it was nothing. I was not in love with him. He was so not the kind of guy I was looking for. But it was nice.

I started to notice a pattern. We will only talk when he is having a lull in his relationship/social calendar. After a bad break-up or when there's no other girls to go after and trick into bed. That was when he will come to me and start the whole endless game of teasing.

I've grown used to this funny thing we had. It was nice and it worked for me. Well, at least in the beginning. Gradually, I realized that whhen I needed him for physical comfort or just some teasing fun, he was never there. I don't like that. Because if it's a fling or whatever that we have, it's only one-way. No. That's why I called to ask him to meet me on the steps today.

"Hey," he said and settled next to me on the steps, wrapping me into his embrace. Just because no one was around, it was okay for him to do that.

"What's up?" he asked and tried to peck me on my lips.

I turned my face at the last minute and the peck went to my cheeks.

"This is not working. I...Just leave me alone okay? I like whatever that we had. But if you are just going to treat me like dirt and used me, then I'm not going to be sticking around," I said and stood up to leave.

"Keep those stuff I gave you. I don't want it back," I hissed before running away.

No, I am not going to cry. It was a summer thing that had dragged for too long. Just like a plaster that has stayed on for too long. You don't want to remove it because you are so used to seeing it there. Afraid what's underneath. But once you removed it, the sting. And the horror of what's underneath revealed.

I can see what's underneath now. I am still as messed up as I was when he found me on those steps.

From a dream.

We finally made it out of the horrible place. Lying under the bed, next to dead bodies. Watching those trolls devour human after human. It was just too horrible.

"Here. Grab my hand," I reached my hand over the edge and pulled her up. We stood there on top of the hill. Relieved.

We paused for a moment to catch our breath. "Come on!" I said excitedly and ran towards the forest, "I think they just won a battle!"

I can't wait to see him. I picked my pace as we reached the edge of the forest. The sound of horse hooves, the jubilant cheers and the shouts of victory!

I see him! There he is! Sitting on top of his horse, at the front of the pack. Next to his father and his brothers. Giving each other a pat on his back. A huge grin plastered on his face. His father, the king, looking at him proudly. A look of approval and love.

The same look that is probably on my face right now.

It's been ages since I've seen them getting along. A long time since he looked so relaxed. A long time since...Wait. I turned to my companion and told her, "You go ahead. I am heading back home," and walked away.

I don't want to be that person anymore. The one that drove them apart. That caused the rift between them. I turned and started running as tears poured down my face.

"Take care of yourself. I promised I'll come back when the war ends," he whispered into my ears as he wrapped his arms around my waist, kissed my shoulders and buried his face in my hair. I wrapped my arms around his and watched as the sun began to rise.

I won't be there. I can't.

Fight.

Broken shards of glasses on the floor. A piece of broken glass stained with blood lay across a picture of them.

"A week. That was how long it took me to get sick of you!" he yelled at her in anger, sweeping the contents of the table onto the floor. Books, magazines, laptops and their picture. Crash, crash, crash.

Too tired to fight any longer. Too hurt to yell. Too sick of crying. She stood there and stared at the items on the floor. A look of indifference on her face.

He came up to her and grabbed her wrist so tightly that it hurt, a look of maniac anger entered his eyes.

She continued to stared at the items and remained silent.

He shoved her onto the floor and stomped out of the house.

That was 8 hours ago. An hour after they had snuggled up to each other and fell asleep the whole day. An hour after they promised never to fight again. An hour after they took that silly picture and framed it up.

That very picture on the floor right now.

8 hours. She hasn't moved from where he left her. On the floor. Back against the wall. A throbbing wrist.